behind that perfect facade

bloodredfingers @ 2009-11-15T15:07:00

2009-11-15T07:07:22Z

"so who's your new boyfriend?" - mum

HAHA

to say that i don't miss being a whirlwind of "love" (in " " cause i doubt any of wtv was love, but merely stupid crushes) would be a lie. hahaha. but i dnt think i wna make the stupid mistakes again, only hurting myself and doing things i regret. i say im over guys but once again i find myself falling into a hole that was never gone. its not that i dnt enjoy, the attention, the flirting, the crazy sugar rushes, the thrill. but i guess i just gotta learn to hold myself together better this time. and not make the same stupid mistakes. for now my first love will be design and second love, floorball and third, dance!

The semester's almost coming to an end, with it being just two papers and 2 submissions away. Many crazy things have happened this semester. Took on responsibilities. Learnt to be more responsible. Had a crazy stress meltdown. Met new people. Had crushes. Found close friends that im totally grateful for. Got to know the people i already knew (but only as acquaintances before) more. Learnt a great deal in design. Learnt to push myself to do better. All in all this sem has its ups an downs round and round. but it was (: though there are some things that im unsure of.

so now, exams and submissions and calling!

The Wisdom Behind Fasting

2009-08-23T05:13:23Z

Here's to a good start of fasting, by not losing sight of why we actually do it in the first place.

From the wisdom of fasting is that: It is an act of worship done for Allaah, in which the ‘abd (servant) draws closer to His Lord by abandoning the things that he loves and desires, such as food, drink and sexual intercourse. So because of this, the truthfulness of his Faith and the completeness of his servitude to Allaah become apparent, as well as his love for Allaah and his longing for what Allaah has prepared for him (of good). This is since the one who fasts does not abandon something that is beloved to him except for that which is greater to him than it (which is Allaah). When the believer knows that Allaah’s contentment lies in the fasting - which is abandoning those desires that he naturally loves - he will give his Lord’s contentment precedence over his desires. So he abandons his desires no matter how much he longs and yearns for them, because his delight and the tranquility of his soul lies in his abandoning all that for the sake of Allaah.

And from the wisdom behind fasting is that it is a means of attaining Taqwaa, as Allaah says: "O you who believe! Fasting is prescribed for you as it was prescribed for those before you, in order that you gain Taqwaa." This is since a person who is fasting is commanded to do the obligatory duties and to avoid sinful acts. The Prophet (saws) said: "Whoever does not abandon false speech, acting upon that (false speech) and (acts of) ignorance (i.e. sins), then Allaah has no need of him abandoning his food and drink." [Reported by Al-Bukhaaree] So when a person is fasting, every time he desires to do a sinful act, he will remember that he is fasting and thus withhold himself from that. This is why the Prophet (saws) ordered the person who is fasting, when cursed at and abused, to say: "I am fasting", cautioning him (the reviler) that a person fasting is commanded to refrain from cursing and reviling, and reminding himself that he is fasting and cannot react with cursing.

And from the wisdom behind fasting is that the heart opens to contemplation and remembrance (of Allaah). This is since fulfilling one’s desires leads to heedlessness and perhaps the heart becomes hardened and blinded from the truth. This is why the Prophet (saws) advised us to eat and drink little, where he said: "The Son of Aadam does not fill a vessel worse than his stomach." [Reported by Ahmad, An-Nasaa’ee and Ibn Maajah]

And in Saheeh Muslim, Handhala Al-Usaidee (raa), who was one of the scribes of Allaah’s Messenger, said to the Prophet (saws): "Handhala has become a hypocrite." So Allaah’s Messenger (saws) said: "Why is that?" He said: "O Messenger of Allaah, when we are with you, you remind us of the Hellfire and Paradise, as if we see them with our own eyes. But when we depart from you, we meet our wives and our children and our homes and we forget much (of what we heard from you)." In the last part of the hadeeth, the Prophet (saws) said to him: "But O Handhala, there is a time for this and a time for that (three times)." Abu Sulaymaan Ad-Daraanee said: "Indeed, when the soul hungers and thirsts, the heart softens and becomes pure. And when it is fed, the heart becomes blinded."

And from the wisdom behind fasting is that the person who has wealth is caused to realize the blessing of wealth that Allaah has bestowed on him, such that Allaah blessed him with food, drink and sexual intercourse. Many people are deprived of these things, so he should praise Allaah for these blessings and thank Him for granting him them. And he should remember his brother who is poor and who probably goes through the day starved and hungry. So he should be generous to him and give him charity so that he can clothe his barrenness and satisfy his hunger.

And from the wisdom behind fasting is that it trains one to curb the soul, and it gives one strength to withhold his soul by its bridle, such that one can govern it and lead it towards that which is good for it and what will make it prosper. This is because the soul commands one to do evil, except for those souls that my Lord has mercy on. So when a person undoes and lets go of his (soul’s) bridle, the soul lands him into many dangers. But when he controls it and curbs it, he is able to lead it to the highest of levels and the greatest of goals.

And from the wisdom of fasting is that the soul is broken down and restricted from having pride, to the point that it humbles itself to the truth and softens itself before the creation. This is because eating, drinking and having sexual intercourse with women - all of these things bring about insolence, arrogance, vanity and pride over people and over the truth. The soul preoccupies itself with trying to obtain these things because of its need for them. So when it obtains these things, the soul feels like it has conquered what it desired and so it falls into the happiness and proudness that is condemned. And this is a cause for its destruction. Only those whom Allaah protects are saved from this.

And from the wisdom behind fasting is that the passageways of blood (in the body) become narrow due to hunger and thirst, so therefore the passageways of the Devil in the human body also become narrower. This is since the Devil flows through the son of Adam like the flowing of blood, as is authentically recorded in the two Saheeh collections. So by fasting, the whisperings of the Devil are subdued and the strength of one’s desires and anger are subjugated. This is why the Prophet (saws) said: "O young men! Whoever amongst you can afford it, should get married, for it is the best means for lowering one’s gaze and the best way of keeping (one’s) private parts chaste. But whoever is not able to marry, then let him fast, for it has protection."

And from the wisdom behind fasting are the health benefits that come as a result of it, which are attained by in-taking little food, allowing the digestive system to rest for a specified time, which lets excess wastes and excrements that are harmful to the body be discharged.

So how great and profound is the wisdom of Allaah, and how beneficial are His commandments to His creatures!

O Allaah, give us comprehension of Your Religion and allow us to understand the inner secrets of Your commandments. Rectify for us the affairs of our Religion and our worldly life. And forgive us and our parents and all the Muslims, by Your mercy, O Most Merciful. And may the peace and blessings of Allaah be on Muhammad (saws) and on his family and all his Companions.

Author:Imaam Muhammad Ibn Saalih Al-'Uthaimeen
Source:Majaalis Shahr Ramadaan [pgs. 41-43] Abridged
Translator:isma'eel alarcon (al-manhaj.com)

bloodredfingers @ 2009-08-22T23:44:00

2009-08-22T15:49:03Z

been 3d modelling (: gets me excited hahahha. rhinoooo (:
other than that, its been bendboo-hoo-hoo-ing.
ineresting material. but sigh,
design blocks can really be such a fishing pain in the gluteus maximus!!
God, please help me through it and keep my passion for it alive. Amin.

we can plan, but only God decides.
power of prayer.
<3

"The best of all medicines is resting and fasting”

2009-08-22T03:06:27Z

“Prayer carries us half way to God, fasting brings us to the door of His palace, and alms-giving procures us admission.” - the Holy Quran

happy fasting people (: May this Ramadhan be a fruitful, eye opening and life changing one <3

bloodredfingers @ 2009-08-22T04:33:00

2009-08-21T20:33:36Z

True giving happens when you are overflowing from the inside, and cannot help but share. When there is so much love within you that it has to flow to others or you would burst open. There is no thinking involved, no willpower in such sharing. It just flows out. If you have to force yourself to be kind, to love, to feel compassion, you've missed the first step of filling in your own Self with these emotions.

God, i wish to be closer to you.

2009-08-19T23:13:01Z

what you are most afraid of is where your greatest rewards are.

If all you had to do was wish for something and you would have it, life would be pretty boring, wouldn't it? God placed barriers between us and what we want, so we can enjoy interesting and satisfying lives. God hid our biggest rewards behind the highest barriers - our deepest fears. God wants us to face our fears, and hold ground in their presence, and let them go, and that's how we get out biggest rewards. What are you most afraid of? Say it, just start by saying it.

bloodredfingers @ 2009-08-12T19:09:00

2009-08-12T11:11:50Z

cleared out the wardrobe.
out goes the old.
in goes the new!

bloodredfingers @ 2009-08-11T22:02:00

2009-08-11T14:25:45Z

the essence of life.
the beginning of a new beginning.

mistakes serve as lessons.

God, guide me through this life.
You're the only one that can.

Amazing rhace day 1

2009-07-31T08:49:43Z

Am at Ecp ski now. It's quite satisfying talking to the groups and asking them about how they found the previous stations. Cause they give such positivie feedback and seem happy (:

Sitting at the beach with wireless and wind in my hair, it feels so awesome. I was feeling so rushed and slightly unsettled jst now. But I forsee feeling that all those late night meetings were even more worth it. God, I'm gna miss people ):

Okay the emo setting is getting to me hahhaah anw, (one team jst got e route info from me) okay back. I feel to be forgetting smtg. Hmm oh yes my wallet. Okay I hope roche got it. Alonee now.

Okay shall go msn now hahhaah (:

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

bloodredfingers @ 2009-07-27T01:20:00

2009-07-26T17:21:23Z

this is so unsettling.
but maybe its a phase.
maybe its normal.
maybe, im just confusing myself.
God, i hope so >.<

bloodredfingers @ 2009-07-27T01:16:00

2009-07-26T17:16:39Z

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Azi Fuad!

You share your birthday with Azi Fuad.
Humans share over 98 percent of their DNA with Azi Fuad.
Azi Fuad can be found on a Cluedo board between the Library and the Conservatory.
The state nickname of Iowa is 'The Azi Fuad state'.
Astronauts get taller when they are in Azi Fuad.
It takes more than 500 peanuts to make Azi Fuad.
The horns of Azi Fuad are made entirely from hair.
The Azi Fuad-fighting market in the Philippines is huge - several thousand Azi Fuad-fights take place there every day.
The liquid inside Azi Fuad can be used as a substitute for blood plasma.
Dolphins sleep at night just below the surface of Azi Fuad, and frequently rise to the surface for air.

I love #4, 6 and 9! HAHAHA

photo competition (:

2009-07-17T14:06:18Z

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=3016398&id=685833083&subject=95116458595&ref=mf

please vote for me by liking the photo in the link! its a photo competition (: i really need the cash! my camera is dead ): thankyou <3

bloodredfingers @ 2009-07-08T16:05:00

2009-07-08T08:14:06Z

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WfBlUQguvyw <3

bloodredfingers @ 2009-07-07T20:57:00

2009-07-07T12:59:52Z

so yest had a mini birthday celebs by the lovely rhocers for me and lilingzz (:
oreo cheesecake from bakerzin! :9
i had like a million slices >.<
then they surprised me with a blue box of sweet goodness!



<3 they are so sweet! i never expected esp like after my birthday had passed
haha (:

God, thankyou for wonderful friends and family (:
i'm truly blessed. i just need to learn to remember
and count my blessings >.<

meanwhile,
check this out! woahhh
arent they the cutest!

bloodredfingers @ 2009-07-04T14:12:00

2009-07-04T06:15:21Z

now presenting to you the CUTEST EVER EVER EVER korean actor!

manson mun! OMGOMG shooo cute (:

apparently he's canadian korean mixed :D
sooo cute!! <3

shutter happy! (:

2009-07-03T16:45:54Z

pics from birthday celebs with rhau :D

<3 me and the twinniee :D

somehow alan has the same expression o.o
haha!

somehow anna's cam has none of eu!

<3

bloodredfingers @ 2009-07-02T17:31:00

2009-07-02T09:31:56Z

surprise after surprise (:
thankyou God (:

i got a coach handbag from grandmamammamam <3 (:

rhau-fied!

2009-07-01T15:55:14Z

so today i finally got out of the house
and had some fun :D
with the rhau pple whom ive missed
and not spent much time with!
for anna and my birthday celebs

had pastamania for lunch
then swensens ice cream (i love butterscoth and strawberry sherbet :D)
then ice age 3! (<3 the cave of helium gas was awesome :D laughed like i have never laughed in agezzz)
then vivo with anna to do some supermarketing for dinner
then hall to grab some clothes.
then home!

<3 to rhau for the gifts!
the all pink bag of pink goodness :D
1) ms pink squishy hairy
2) a box of pink strawberry pocky
3) a bag of pink strawberry chewwies
4) a pink can of was in cherry gassy drink?
5) a pink measuring tape! convinient for archi :D
6) a tiny pink hello kitty alarm clock
7) a pink stove lighter
8) a pink hand broom
and lastly,
9) a tiny film camera! the Ikimono Series 110 Camera - Squirrel :D:D:D;

This is a one of the tiniest cameras you can find, it is even smaller then the film it uses.
Features exclusive drawings of animals by Mika Sasaki. Many designs to choose from.
Sports a keyring to double up as a keychain.
Designed and manufactured by SuperHeadz, Japan.

source: http://perlyinc.com/store/product_info.php?cPath=54&products_id=218

see how tiny it is relative to a battery! :D even the film is bigger than it is!
but sadly it uses 110 film =O rare but me and anna are determined to find em and a place to develop :D
soon soon :D

edit: i found info on 110 film yeyyey! :D

<3 thankyou all (:

bloodredfingers @ 2009-07-01T22:48:00

2009-07-01T14:50:40Z

oh no.
my sis found my blog.
she copied and pasted a whole entry of mine.
and she left my link there.
for the whole of her little world to come and see.
=o

hello sister's friends! stop reading my lj! go go shooo! go study!
haha

bloodredfingers @ 2009-06-30T19:30:00

2009-06-30T11:32:06Z

Those who didn't like micromanaging every detail of their Sims in the past will be pleased to know you'll no longer have to visit the bathroom if their bladder is full (they'll find the toilet when they need to), plus they'll nap when they're fatigued and eat when they're hungry. In other words, you can now spend your time getting to know the city, its inhabitants, and work on your career, family and home decor.
source: http://www.usatoday.com/tech/columnist/marcsaltzman/2009-06-18-sims3_N.htm

OMGOMG! i need sims3 for mac now! hahahha but im jst afraid that there will be more crazy details like the how sism2 was so much more crazier than the sims >.<

bloodredfingers @ 2009-06-30T13:50:00

2009-06-30T05:53:40Z

another year has passed
for me on this earth.
haha

here's to
more fun
more laughter
more lessons learnt
more smiles
more friends
more As
more everything good
:D

<3 to all who wished me (:

now, sims2 here i come!

bloodredfingers @ 2009-06-28T19:00:00

2009-06-28T11:04:44Z

i crave dressing up for an occasion.
having a reason to dress up.
a dinner?
a themed party?
a night out?
towning?
but somehow i never get the chance to
cause there are no instances lately
that call for dressing up.
how sad.

bloodredfingers @ 2009-06-25T14:42:00

2009-06-25T06:43:25Z

is beauty in the eye of the beholder?

bloodredfingers @ 2009-06-25T12:25:00

2009-06-25T04:28:19Z

part of me is excited.
it's still wishing for a miracle.
waiting for all that it could imagine.
maybe somehow, this year things would be different.
maybe this year is the year!

another part of me is indifferent.
jaded.
it's always the same.
so what difference this year?

but its still too early.

is it this time?

bloodredfingers @ 2009-06-24T22:05:00

2009-06-24T14:06:49Z

all this time i never knew better.
and i thought it was normal.
wow.

turns out its not.
man, things are getting crazier.
its insane.

as i stood outside the house
waiting for my sis to finish doing her laundry.
a though crossed my mind.
abt how i was during the flrball ihg.
i was a complete mess.
as sj would recall.
i dont think i played my best.
but there were moments where
it wasnt that bad.
and i did help us secure one goal.
but thats not the point.

the point is how i shldnt let emotions
affect other things in my life.
i shld learn to be more professional.
or else,
ill jst end up screwing up more things.

i used to be able to do the leave the emotions behind thing.
whatever happens at home
stays at home.
and ill be in school
my normal self.

why am i not like that now?
like whatever happens in one thing
shld never affect my performance in another.

i guess i learnt something.
time to work on it.
:D

emotions make you weak.
i succumb to them so easily.
but yet in some other situations.
i am so cold.
funny.